Morning All,
Have had a pretty hectic week in the Leary household which is why I haven’t been able to post much and had seemingly fallen off the face of the earth.
It has included:
A wedding reception (fantastic)
Weaning (hardly Annabel Karmel)
Potty buying (OMG, our little girl is growing up)
Crawling #2 (OMG, our even littler girl is growing up)
A trip to Alder Hey (for a check up on the eye- looking good)
A trip to Tatton Park (a really lovely, lovely family day)
I have to begin this post with a massive caveat. I am utterly, utterly smitten by my children. I absolutely think that they are the best thing in the world. Additionally, I can not recall a period in my life when I have felt happier or more settled and at peace (yep, it’s out there, I am using new agey sort of statements like at peace. Deal with it). I have my husband to thank for this. He has made a humongous change to his life for the sake of his family and I am so grateful. (Apologies for the outpouring but there it is).
BUT… Bold statement of the day…
Kids really seem to get in the way of maternity leave if I’m totally honest.
They create washing and mess, need feeding, entertaining and loving and have to go to bed at a reasonable hour to prevent subsequent days from being utter carnage. Annoying!
What I had envisaged for our big move back to The Wirral was my school friends and I meeting up very frequently for coffee whilst our children played very happily together occasionally gambolling over like playful lambs to show us a book or doll or something that they were sharing considerately between them.
The reality of the situation is slightly different in that my friends have ‘jobs’.
They are usually working I tell you. Most inconsiderate when I am off and need to be entertained/kept sane by adult company. I don’t mean seedy adult company either- that isn’t what has stopped them calling, I don’t request that keys get thrown into a fruit bowl on arrival or anything.
I am very happy to provide tea and cake and, if I know they are coming, I will even put a bottle of Cif onto the kitchen worktop so they think I have hygiene standards.
NB- I would buy the cake too so it isn’t my shoddy cookery skills that is stopping them in their droves.
When we do manage to synchronise our diaries meetings usually go like this;
Hugs and kisses all round.
Adults because they are happy to have other adult company, children because they have been told to be polite (or are at the kissing stage- strangers, pets, inanimate objects be aware).
A conversation will start which is immediately interrupted by a child tugging on a coat tail asking for any/all of the following;
A wee, a poo, a carry, a cuddle, a book, a toy a snack, a smack (I am joking- don’t call the NSPCC).
An entirely new conversation will begin when said child/ren have been placated. By this stage no one can recall what initial conversation was about.
FYI- it is very likely to have been something exceptionally highbrow such as the coalitions attempts to restructure the benefits system (ill considered and quite frankly unworkable; if you want more details on why Davo, give me a bell) or our views on the current crisis in Egypt (looks like a military coup to me but I’m no expert).
The new conversation will have stepped down a peg or two and may be about school, sleep, weaning, potty training, money…)
This will be punctuated by us eating plastic or indeed utterly imaginary food and cuddling various toys, someone will need to read The Gruffalo or the current favourite Tiddler whilst all of this is going on- clue; it won’t be a child.
When there is a break in the fake picnic we will begin another, entirely new and unrelated conversation which may be getting close to our base level- this will likely include rants about all/any of the following:
Partners, Parents, Work, Money, Katie Hopkins, Jeremy Kyle…(I absolutely and unreservedly despise this programme and think it is a sad indication of the state of this nation. I can’t bring myself to watch it so it is unlikely that this subject will get much air time but I just wanted you to know how I feel. It is similar to how I feel about celeb magazines).
Atleast one child will be sleep deprived and grouchy, one will be teething and grouchy, one will be bored and grouchy and one will be sticking something up their nose and/or falling of a slide, a sofa or a n other surface of some variety.
Every so often something exceptionally cute will happen which will give us all the strength to continue for the next half an hour.
The happy throng will break up once we admit to ourselves that we can’t complete a whole sentence without forgetting what we were talking about and we will agree to do the same again next week!!
As the children go to leave they will do something as simple as hold each others hand or give a spontaneous kiss and we will all declare the gathering an unmitigated success and coo over how amazing our children are (because they are).
Once the last person leaves I will return to the kitchen to find a minimum of two cold, stewed cups of tea and a packet of biscuits. Phew, I know what I’ll be having for my dinner. Yeah, that’s right, sometimes I microwave my brew. :-/
PS- If this sounds like it applies to you, I LOVE you all coming round, accepting my house as it is and bringing your children to make noise, mess and memories. Don’t stop doing it or I am likely to go crazy/crazier.
Lots of love.

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