Katy Hill has drawn my attention this morning to the front cover of OK magazine on sale today less than 12 hours after The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge left hospital with their new son.
Suffice to say I am not impressed.
I am not impressed at all.
Now, I am an intelligent women. Yup, it’s out there. I am bright as a button, sharp as a tack. Pretty ruddy smart.*
I’ve got GCSE biology so I know very well that it takes 9 months to incubate your baby, to ensure that they have all the nutrients and time needed to develop.
I also know that it will and should take AT LEAST that time again to lose the weight you gained, the muscle tone you lost and to get your head around the fact that your tits my friend are basically done. That’s it, you’ve had the best of those bad boys. Get used to it.
And yet, I am not immune to feeling like utter rubbish simply for being normal.
So, just to set the record straight and to prevent other new mums from looking at themselves in disgust and wasting time feeling bad about themselves when what you really ought to be doing is giving yourself a freaking humongous pat on the back for simply getting out of bed in the morning and caring for your baby here is my top five of It’s OK if…
1) It is OK if your knickers now start just above your knee and finish just below your bra. (Additionally it is ok if they are more grey than dazzling white).
2) It is OK if your leaving hospital was not a beautiful polka dot dress but a pair of XXL trackies which were more ASDA price than Jack Wills. (It is not a deal breaker if they are speckled with sick and/or other bodily fluids).
3) It is OK if your knees and nipples are now closer pals than you’d ever thought possible. (It is also ok to sometimes cry a bit about this).
4) It’s OK if your training regime involves picking up your baby rather than a set of dumbells, running a bath instead of a race and sitting on the sofa instead of 100’s of sit ups.
5) It is OK if your beauty regime is now a babywipe and some chewing gum, dry shampoo and incognito sunnies.
You’ve had a baby, this is massive. Enjoy this time. You will never, ever ever get it back.
Please, please do not waste a minute that you could spend cuddling your baby, feeding your baby, loving your baby-OR- having a break from your baby, by worrying that you are not good enough, don’t look good enough aren’t coping well enough. Bollocks.
Get your exercise from walking with the pram, laughing with friends and gathering up your boobs from the floor. Ha ha ha.
Exercise is not something to leap back into after a break. Take things easy, take advise and do something you enjoy.
PS- in the interests of education…this month is Ramadan. Some of the principal rules for Muslims particularly at this time of year are;
* No negative or degrading, or belittling thoughts about yourself, or anyone else.
* No harsh words, rude manners, or obscene behaviour towards any others.
* Be as kind, loving, generous, giving and nurturing as you can be to all the people and to yourself as you can be.
Good advice no?!
If in doubt think to yourself- would I give my baby or my friends as hard a time as I am giving myself?…
Love you dudes.
* I have come to this conclusion myself. It may not be 100% accurate.

0 replies
  1. Julia Dickinson
    Julia Dickinson says:

    I was listening to BBC London this morning (yes, I am getting old!!!) and they described her leaving hospital with a prominent bump still, and they were questioning a midwife about when she could expect to get rid of it —- give the girl a break… she’s just had a baby!!! They drive me mad…

    • Mumaleary
      Mumaleary says:

      I just don’t understand it. I genuinely can not get my head around it. This is what women look like post birth- if they are really bloody lucky!!! I just don’t want your girls, or my girls or any girls to be under the impression that they are meant to be Barbie or Jordan or anything other than their beautiful selves. 🙁

  2. suzanne3childrenandit
    suzanne3childrenandit says:

    Ha ha this was very funny and I could agree with every single point….however I spent at least 3 months post-baby in a state of utter confusion and spaced-outedness (is that even a word?!). I can barely remember it! The tummy will be her friend for a little while longer, although I have a sneaking suspicion that she may be a little fitter than the rest of us, so it won’t be long!


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