I hope that you’ve all had a good day.
Ours has been emotional in lots of ways.
As you know, yesterday can only be described as pants. If you missed it you can read bout it here but to cut a long story short it involved a temperature, a trip to the docs and the unswitchoffable feeling of guilt that is part of being a parent.
Fast forward to this morning. I could have fried an egg on Baby A’s stomach this morning and decided that waiting until Friday for another doctors appointment was not an option so, without going into all of the boring details, it is now 14 hours after we arrived at the walk in centre attached to the hospital.
My beautiful, beautiful first born is sleeping fitfully in a cot next to my put you up bed on the children’s ward. She is as white as a sheet, has a temp of 40 and a cannula for her antibiotics.
She has just, for the very first time in her life, been sick so is now not even in her own jim-jams, she is in a hospital gown looking teeny, tiny and pretty forlorn.
Despite all of this, today has been a better day than yesterday. It has been better because of my glorious friends and family and the kindness of strangers.
This morning I sent a text to two of my very clever medical friends, describing Baba A’s presentation and asking what to do. My gut told me to go to the walk in but my head was saying;
They’ll think you’re a neurotic mother.
You have an appointment on Friday.
You are over reacting.
Stop being a drama queen.
Now, for those that know me, I AM a drama queen, I absolutely love a bit of drama. I love being the centre of attention. I am a born show off.
There is absolutely no denying that I wish I was a mixture of Dame Judy Dench, Alan Carr, Caitlin Moran, Mary Portas and Pink but, drama like this I could do without.
I haven’t got Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy or anything (slightly concerned that by physically writing that down it make me look like I HAVE got MSbP- again, I haven’t!)
Both of my friends concurred that I should get her checked out and I am so glad I did.
No one made me feel like a neurotic mum and as soon as we arrived on the assessment ward it was as if my baba thought, ok, cool, I am in the right place now, I can give up this brave rubbish and just rest.
She has slept in my arms for the majority of the day.
I have kissed her forehead, mopped her brow, had the horrid job of holding her so the doctor could take her bloods and I have felt my heart swell and allowed myself a wry smile as she clamped her teeth shut so no one cold check inside her mouth. Fighting spirit. All is not lost 😉
I have done my absolute level best to telepathically send her the following message but just incase she didn’t totally get it, I’ll write a quick praisy for her to look back on in years to come.
My darling darling girl,
You are one of THE most precious things in my life.
I love you totally and completely.
I am here.
I will never leave you and if you ever, ever need me, I am yours.
If I could take on your fever,
Heal all your hurt,
Cuddle you better,
I’d do it, the works.
But me and your daddy,
We made you so strong,
So you do it baby,
I’ll carry you on. *
Btw- if you are into excessive mushy sentiment check out these books by Nancy Tilman. I will give £5.00 to anyone that can read them without getting a lump in their throat.**
Baba B meanwhile has been looked after by my sisters boyfriend (a term which frankly I think is a little teenage, but life partner sounds weird so I will stick with it), my sister and my fabulous, calm under pressure, simply wonderful yummy mummy friend Jojo and, midwife, criminally gorgeous and cool in a crisis Kirsty.
I bloody love my friends.
The nursery has offered to have Baba B tomorrow which is a massive help and something they totally did not need to do.
The doctors, nurses and HCA’s have taken time, checked my baby out thoroughly, explained everything to me and made me drinks and toast even though I am sure they have more important things to do.
God bless the NHS.
When I burst into tears in the taxi on my way to try to see my other baba, the middle aged, stiff upper lip, more comfortable on the terraces, taxi driver told me not to worry and offered me a tissue, possibly to prevent me snorting on his seats but still. Kind.
Situations like this remind you that in general, people are lovely, kind, caring and generous.
A lovely thing to be reminded of and a brilliant ethos to teach our girls going forward.
Obviously some people are tits but I haven’t encountered any of those today.
The more I know of life the more I think that Henry James really knew what he was talking about when he said;
“Three things in human life are important:
the first is to be kind;
the second is to be kind;
and the third is to be kind.”
NB- I know I’ve used this before, it is just so true that I thought it was worth repeating.
So, there you are, we are all up to date.
In summary, my baby is strong, my friends are awesome, the NHS is pretty special and people are kind.
*If you are reading this in 2025 Baba, in some sort of angry teenage strop-clamber down from that high horse. See how much I love you?… Well then, come and apologise for staying out so late and anything else you may have been up to recently.
** I obviously won’t do this.