I am not enjoying the fact that so many of my blogs recently have been less about the baring of boobs and the other humiliating aspects of parenthood as I know it and more about the serious emotional stuff that comes with being a mum.
I would love to be regaling you all with the fact that, just today, my baby baby had to watch me being waxed whilst I tried to entertain her from the bed and not wince and scar her for life, oh the hilarity that brought! I shall save that for tomorrow.
Here, I hope, is the last serious and sombre blog for awhile….
I have long loved the Pause for Thought slot on Radio 2- several times it has made me well up and most days it makes me genuinely makes me…Pause for Thought– ah ha- Job Done. 🙂
I was really excited when there was an opportunity to write a script to be the next voice of Pause for Thought and was really keen to enter. I wasn’t sure what topic to cover so procrastinated for sometime and then came our hospital trip which provided some inspiration…
Here is my very own Pause for Thought script. I missed the deadline to enter due to our hospital stay but wanted it to be out there just for the record.
Here goes…
It is very rare that people in this day and age take regular time to Pause for Thought. We are connected to people via Twitter and Facebook and SKYPE and email and text and occasionally through speaking OR seeing each other. We are the ultimate 24/7 society.
How many of us can honestly say that we regularly switch off and take time to pause, reflect and just be?
As I write this, I am sitting on a hospital camp bed next to my baby daughters cot watching her breathe and seeing her eyes occasionally flicker when a buzzer goes off or another patient moves or coughs or there is some other unfamiliar noise in this, her unfamiliar, temporary home.
We have now been in hospital for 3 days and are likely to be here for a few more. She has a serious infection that has totally knocked her, and subsequently me, for six.
She has been poked and prodded and pricked and scanned and has barely made a murmur. Some of this is no doubt down to her being absolutely bone tired but some is down to her extremely placid and patient personality.
She is a dream, everyone says it. She is an absolute pleasure to be around and as I watch her now breathing and dreaming and being I am bowled over by the strength and depth of my love for her and tears prick my eyes. I am so sad not to be able to make her better with a kiss and a cuddle.
In these late nights and early mornings I have nothing to do but pray and Pause for Thought!
The news bombards us daily with stories of those that choose to do unspeakable things to others.
Our society is so full of social media and virtual relationships that it is possible to forget how to show love and compassion instead of fear and misunderstanding in the real world.
It is possible to bully and belittle people without ever meeting or laying eyes on them.
It is possible to hide behind a screen and pour hate and bile into the universe without a thought for the consequences of your words.
It is possible to pretend to be living and interacting with the world around you whilst hiding away.
But, it is also possible to do the exact opposite.
In the last few days our friends and family as well as virtual friends who subscribe to my blog, acquaintances from mother and baby groups and actual, proper strangers, have been so, so kind that on occasion it has been hard to speak.
I stand by my mantra that it is always better to risk saying the wrong thing than to say nothing and risking people thinking you don’t care. And I also totally stand by my favourite quote from Henry James who said;

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”

The more I know of the various big and small religions of the world, the more dumbfounded I am by the amount of utter evil committed in its name.
I suppose that is why I think that stripping humanity back to the absolute basics works so well.
Who could argue with the idea of showing another person kindness?
Who would disagree with the basic premies that every living thing deserves to be loved?
Who should decide who is worth more than someone or something else?
Whilst I am confident that God exists, I know that there are many many people who bandy about the term Christian whist doing and saying things that the God in my head would be appalled by.
Equally, I know plenty of people that are non religious but their moral code and their unfailing sense of what is right should make many others have a good look at their own ideas.
So I guess what I’m saying is; given the chance, most people ARE kind. In the real world, in the virtual world and most certainly in my world and, I for one have rarely been so touched and grateful.
When you are out and about in the world today, whether that world be real or virtual, take some time to be a little more Henry James, it would do us all the power of good.
There, that’s my script. 🙁
I will have to wait a whole year now to be able to enter. Sad times indeed.
On the plus side, Baba A is now home safe and sound(ish).
She has a chicken pox like virus and is covered in spots.
Baba B is puking for Britain and likely to have the same sort of spots by the time she wakes up.
Her naming day is in 17 days….what are the chances of that being a spot free affair do you think?
Slim to none I would suggest. I have been living on Snickers (Marathon), tea and toast and the consequences of this are literally all over my face. I look like a spotty teen with the crows feet of a pensioner.
Oh well, at least I’m silky smooth now. I believe my waxer is fashioning a new winter fur from the fruits of her labour 😉
Night night all. XxxxX


0 replies
  1. stilettosstarsandrocknroll
    stilettosstarsandrocknroll says:

    I feel the need to be kind. I’m quite a newbie to your blog, but I subscribed because I love the way you write & this piece was no different. Tears have pricked in my eyes on more than one occasion since I have been keeping up with your babies progress. I am so pleased that she’s now home.
    I have an 8 month old baby myself and before he was born, I never knew that such a deep love for another human could exist. He’s come along & totally rocked my world. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been going through.
    Thank you for your words. I always look forward to reading your work.
    Jaki x

    • Mumaleary
      Mumaleary says:

      Thank you Jaki,
      That’s really kind. The whole motherhood/parenthood thing is bloody massive isn’t it.
      I was so worried beforehand that I wouldn’t be that bothered and wouldn’t ‘get’ the level of love that people talk about.
      I can safely say that hasn’t happened! It has calmed my sharp tongue a little as I now think that whatever I am saying about who ever, that person is someone’s child. Has spoilt things a little to be honest!! Darn conscience 😉
      Keep reading and I’ll check in with you soon. X


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