When the National Lottery- oops, sorry LOTTO posed the question,
“How would you spend £20,000?”
I thought I would find it easy to answer. After all, who hasn’t whiled away the afternoon of a Mega Euro Millions Friday, wondering what they’d do if it was them.
The very first thing I had thought I would do, was to hire a Private Detective to find out where Mystic Meg had got to.
But, what with the old tinter web, there is no need- she still does her thang for The
Skum Sun and, more interestingly- owns several race horses! Who knew.
So, that’s a massive virtual saving. Yey me.
Now, £20,000 is round about my previous PA salary, (incidentally this is £6k below the national average which is utterly criminal given the nature of the job, but I digress)
Soooo; what decided I could do, is simply pay myself a salary to stay at home for another year and spend time with my gorgeous girlies- £750pcm = £9,000.
But- it would be even better than that because I would be afforded the luxury of our nursery fees being covered- 2 days per week for both girls- £6,912.00
That still leaves me with three days per week with them and two family days. Perfect.
I have zero intention of sullying these play dough free days with cleaning, so I am adding on a cleaner for 4 hours a week.
That allows some time for some ironing too- £2,080
During these ‘free’ days, what I would want to do is
lie on the couch and watch him write, write, write and also, do some mentoring because, to be serious for one cotton picking minute, I think that if you have a lucky break it is your responsibility to ‘Pay it Forward’. Plus, I used to really love that aspect of my job and the reward is honestly worth far more than money.
I don’t have a car and wouldn’t buy one (the 471 provides far, far too rich a vein of stories for me to stop taking the girls on the bus. Today I met Clive who is my almost neighbour. He’s 80 soon and was a total gent. I think I’ll take over a cake).
This however means that gym membership is a no go so I’d defo get involved in personal training- £3,000.
And that’s it- gone. In a blink of a year- Actually, I’ve over spent by £992 but I reckon that I could get a deal on the PT or the cleaner or both if I made them aware of the year long job security. 😉
All that money gone without any of this lovely, lovely stuff…
Cushions- I would love to buy a selection of Jan Constantine cushions for our room, the spare room and the lounge and then we would have the unadulterated luxury of having to take them off the bed every single night and then putting them back on the bed every single morning.
I wouldn’t lean on them. Ever.
A lovely new bed- like this one.
Our bed is a metal frame. Absolutely perfect for the 50 Shades shackling to the bed sort of shenanigans.
I know this only because my bracelet got caught on it the other day and I nearly dislocated my freaking shoulder trying to free myself without disturbing the baby I was feeding (incase it’s not clear, it was obviously my baby).
I was getting that feeling you get when you’ve
foolishly hopefully tried on a size 12 in Reiss (wrong on two levels- you can’t afford it, and you knew you needed a 14. You are wriggling and struggling like Tiddler in the treasure chest whilst the size 0 assistant asks if everything is ok, it clearly isn’t. You are sweating so much you fear you’ll have to buy the dress anyway- we’ve all been there…haven’t we?!?) anyway- alls well that ends well but I’d get a new bed!
Candles- I would absolutely go mental for a Jo Malone luxury candle. I would very probably buy several along with the stick in a bottle things to really ‘layer the scent through the home’. I can’t believe people write this. And people like me are then sucked in-totally.
They smell absolutely out of this world but I find it hard to take candles too seriously. They are after all, candles.
Cups- I would buy the full range of cups from the excellent Big Red Tomato Company just so I could amuse myself when people came over for a coffee.
Weird neighbour (not you Clive) He gets: BARKING.
Hot gardener? He gets: ADONIS
This also serves as a handy code for your other guests and, beauty of it is no one can be offended, it’s just a random cup. It’s not as if you picked it ‘specially for them…did you.
As a double bonus you will give them a little niggle in their brain. It could be the first step to genuine madness- like Michael did to Julie Martin in the worlds greatest soap, Neighbours.
If you would like to reminisce further on this topic see here for some amazing snippets!! I have been wetting myself due to some of the comments!
Anyway- I am very much feeling that this post has gone a little bit too weird now so I am signing off.
Before I do though, I must just let you know this…
This post is an entry for BritMums #Spend20K Challenge sponsored by The National Lottery, with more ways to win more money on the new Lotto game. Find out more about new Lotto, which starts in October, here – www.national-lottery.co.uk
Basically, I could win a prize for this post if they like it enough.
It’s not £20,000.
Anywho, What would you spend your £20k on?
Can’t believe I forgot these too…These are amazing- best toys ever. I would totally buy one of these…cushions smushions.